Most of us remember when we first said the words “I love you.” to a special person.

For some it took forethought and courage, a special time was chosen. It may also have been awkward. Some say these words a lot quicker than others, so the first time it was said may have been just spontaneous.

When was the last time your partner said, “I love you”?

Was it this morning before he walked out the door? Did she say it last night before you turned off the light and went to sleep? Maybe for you it was a week ago, a month, or maybe you can’t remember when your partner last said it?

How and when we say those three little words often has to do with our family of origin.

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In some families the phrase, “I love you” flows freely and daily, it is expected to be heard and said often, it’s more like a greeting that makes you feel good. In other families they are precious words, expressed only on some occasions but when they are said, they have a sense of depth and so a special feeling is aroused. No two couples come from the same kind of family, and so even the expression, “I love you” has a different meaning to each.

Your difference may lead to you understanding why for one it is easier to say these words than for the other.

Sometimes it is helpful to discuss and explore exactly what the words, “I Love you” mean to you and your partner.

What do the words “I love you” mean to you?

What happens to you when I say these words?

These are special words which are said to only a very few people and when they are expressed they created a sense of assurance, comfort and even strength in a special relationship.

Hans Kelder

This is Hans Kelder from Hobart Marriage Counselling.